Your mom may have told you growing
up “if you lay down with dogs you will get fleas,” and annoying as it is, the
saying bodes true and actually works in the opposite way as well. Although there
isn’t a cute phrase for it, if you surround yourself with the type of people
you aspire to be, you will adopt the same positive traits and empower yourself
in the process. Positive support networks have been linked to career and
financial advancement, mental and personal health and an overall well rounded
lifestyle.
This post was inspired as I was
recently speaking to a client who mentioned she had an “inner circle” of
support in her life. Her inner circle was composed of her longest term, most
hardcore friends. These were women she could always depend on to support her
during tough times and cheer with her during the great. As she began describing
the characteristics of each woman in her circle they had the same positive
traits she did; they were intelligent, ambitious and successful.
 |
| Creating Your Inner Circle |
This immediately made me think “what
if everyone had an inner circle?” So many times we see people susceptible to abuse
and exploitation because they are marginalized. They lack the key supports to
make themselves successful, and worse they may surround themselves with people
who are the opposite of who they want to be and those people, although good at
heart, bring them down instead of build them up.
An inner circle can be created
organically or it can be made. When we train families we tell them adoption is
hard. Adoption can be painful. Adoption can be a long journey. We ask them to
find four support people to help them on this journey. What we did not realize
is we were actually asking them to build their own inner circle. Here’s who you
should have:
The Realist- The realist is the person in your life who has plenty of
life experience. He or she will tell you the truth whether it hurts or not.
They want the best for you but they will not sugar coat their advice. They can
be mistaken as; judgmental, opinionated, and argumentative. They can be;
empowering, life affirming, your biggest fan.
 |
| My optimist is my wonderful husband and family |
The Optimist- The optimist
is like your cheerleader of the group. Whatever you do, they will cheer
you on and find the positive to any bad situation. You can tell them anything
and know you will walk away feeling relieved and supported. They can be
mistaken as; too cheerful, disingenuous, not serious enough. They can be
valuable as; your closest confidante, a shoulder to cry on, your silver lining
to every gray situation
 |
| Tam is a mama of five |
The Roots- This person anchors your life or group. She or he may be
the “parent” of your friends or they are actually your parent in life. This
person is someone who stabilizes you in choppy waters. They remind you of your
strengths and focus on your skills to overcome an obstacle. They remind you to
stay grounded whenever things feel overwhelming. They are often telling you
“don’t make a decision based on emotion” “look at the facts” “you are smart,
you can handle this.” They can be mistaken as; too cerebral, too bossy, too set
in their ways. They can be valuable as;
a constant source of support, your back up child/pet care when life gets crazy,
the person you can call in a crisis
 |
| Throwback Companions |
The Companion- This person is someone who understands you deeply.
They may have grown up with you or in a similar way. They have an understanding
and empathy for you that transcends new bonds or relationships. You can call or
text them any time about past memories and find peace in reliving old times.
They can be mistaken as; irrelevant, old friend, someone who grew in a
different direction than you. They can be valuable as; your link to your past,
a resource when the present is too stressful, someone who can empathize with
you
Check back for more daily tips and affirmations
Check back for more daily tips and affirmations
No comments:
Post a Comment